Spider-Man Adaptation Battle Royale
Description Which Spider-Man do you think will win? 60s Supaidāman 90s/Unlimited Tobey Maguire MTV Spectacular Ultimate Andrew Garfield Tom Holland Which Spider-Man do you want to win? 60s Supaidāman 90s/Unlimited Tobey Maguire MTV Spectacular Ultimate Andrew Garfield Tom Holland Interlude Wiz: Spider-Man. Such an iconic hero who has shown us power can only be harnessed properly by the responsibility to use it. Along the way, many adaptations have come along the way to share this lesson. Boomstick: And just like what my next door neighbour did with his children, we're going to pit 10 of them against each other to see who truly holds the "Great Power". Wiz: But we won't be taking the many Spideys from the SpiderVerse. Instead, we'll be focusing on those from cartoon and live action adaptations of Spider-Man. Boomstick: The odd and campy 60s series. Wiz: The Japanese Supaidāman. Boomstick: The 90s Animated Series Spider-Man Wiz: Spider-Man Unlimited's Spider-Man. Boomstick: Tobey Maguire's Spider-Man. Wiz: The MTV Series Spider-Man. Boomstick: The Spectacular Spider-Man. Wiz: The Ultimate Spider-Man. Boomstick: Andrew Garfield's Amazing Spider-Man. Wiz: And finally the Tom Holland and the MCU's Spider-Man. Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And its our job to analyze their weapons, armour, and skills to find our who would win a DEATH BATTLE. 60s (Music plays) Boomstick: By the way, a lot of Spider-Men have this story so lets just get this over with. Wiz: Peter Parker was just your average bookworm. An intellectual man of science like yours truly- Boomstick: NERRRRRD! Geez, get a room you two. Wiz: *Groans* Anyways, during a presentation on Radioactivity, a spider accidentally became radioactive during the showing. Then the fateful moment came when it bit Peter. Boomstick: Now at first he felt pretty weird, but I think he came to like it when punches from normal humans did jack shit. 60s is punched by a man. 60s: I...hardly felt it! Boomstick: And then he accidentally knocked down a steel street light with one punch! Wiz: Realizing he had gained powers from the spider, ranging from the agility to jump to the height of skyscrapers to the ability to crawl up walls, Peter saw this as an opportunity to get into show biz. He then created Webshooters to go along with his new persona: Spider-Man. Boomstick: So gaining money for him, his Aunt, and his Uncle seemed like a good idea and it honestly would've been. Too bad he was an asshole and let some thief get away because he was "Tired of being pushed around". He would come to regret that when he chased that same thief who killed his Uncle Ben. Wiz: The same thief he could have stopped earlier. And this is where he now knew that with great power, there must also come great responsibility. (Music plays) Boomstick: So, in case you don't know, Spider-Man commonly possesses enhanced strength, speed, durability, and healing. Wiz: Then there are his two most iconic powers, wall crawling and the Spider-Sense, which alerts him of danger. It also allows him to see through illusions. This Spider-Man's Sense are actually capable of picking up "special signals" even from the open sea. While the villain's location where the distress call was sent from was said to be one of thousands islands, the very least we can assume, based off Spider-Man standing in New York City is that his Spider-Sense reaches out 1,343 miles away, seeing as how Cuba is the closest island to the City. Though, this is just through special devices. Boomstick: So putting aside him rejecting chances to get laid, have a social life, and HAVE FUN, 60's is no slouch when it comes to his staple weapon: the Webshooters. Wiz: 60's Webs come in many verities. His webs seemingly without effort can form into slingshots, bats, gloves, the list seems endless. Boomstick: Yeah thats cool and all, but how well do they work? Wiz: Well, when he made a catapult out of webs, he was able to send back a wrecking ball flying towards him. Wrecking balls tend to weigh from 1000 to 12,000 pounds and with Spidey's catapult, it was sent back with ease. Boomstick: Damn! Thats almost as cool as his tempered webbing, which is stronger than steel and can work like a sword! You heard me right. This man just decided "What if I get in a sword fight with a fishbowl guy and two goons? Better make some strong ass webbing!". Or if he wants to catch some waves he can just web up a boat and a goddamned propeller. Wiz: Throughout his superhero duties, he's created stronger webbings. Strong enough to halt armoured trucks, keep down the Scorpion, and even block an attack from a charging Rhino. The same Rhino who could stop a train or bring down a building with his horn without being harmed. He's even created webbing that was completely immune to Electro's lightning, Green Goblin's bombs, and Vulture's missiles. Boomstick: "Does what a spider can" huh? That's not a fucking understatement or anything. Wiz: Oh it doesn't end there. When fighting Dr. Magento, who I should add has no relation to the X-Men's villain, Spidey developed a webbing that could destroy the Doctor's gun, which was capable of controlling metal, paper, cloth, wood, and even organic matter such as Spider-Man himself. He called this "Anti-Magnetic Webbing". Boomstick: Oh come on! Did he also make a webbing that'll make him win this fight?! Wiz: No, but he did break through another Spider-Man's webbing before. Boomstick: Wait, what? Wiz: As 60s later discovered, far from New York, there was a civilization of spider powered people who crashed onto Earth and have waited for a rescue. Boomstick: Please tell me it doesn't get weirder than this. Wiz: It does. Like the time an evil scientist led Spider-Man out of New York so he could use a machine to lift the entire city and mind control everyone inside. Or there was the time a giant snowman keep growing by consuming electricity- Boomstick: Never mind! Can we just get back to the feats? Wiz: Right. Along with his increased attributes, his "Spider Hearing" allows him to understand speech that regular humans have trouble with. His web shooters are capable of projecting light, he has projector he took from Mysterio that can display the illusion of a ghost ship, Spider Tracers that are used for tracking down whatever they are placed onto, a mask that allows him to safely breath in oil, surprisingly enough a small plane, and instant heat. Boomstick: Instant heat? Wiz: Yes. A tool that allows him to solidify material such as mud in mere seconds. Boomstick: Why the hell would anyone carry that shit around? He didn't seem to use it the TWO TIMES THE CITY WAS BEING ATTACKED BY BEINGS MADE OF SNOW AND ICE! Or the time he was stuck in a freezer at temperatures of absolute zero for 24 fucking hours! Wiz: Cut them some slack, Boomstick. It was the 60s. Continuity wasn't a huge concern. Boomstick: Bullshit was apparently. Wiz: Moving onto his suit, 60s has given his suit silicon coating to be immune to oil based attacks and for when venturing into colder regions, he built a heating device that fits under his costume. Boomstick: Wow, sounds useful for-''' Wiz: Boomstick, I swear to God! '''Boomstick: Alright alright I'll stop! Wiz: *Groans once more* 60s has a mind strong enough to resist mind control that took over all of Manhattan, and we know this since the mind control was stated to not work on the strong minded. Even when the same villain who used a stronger mind controlling method, Peter resisted. His intellect has been shown to be great throughout the series. Whether it be his previously mentioned web creation or the ways he outsmarts foes. Boomstick: And he's fast enough to dodge close range lightning bolts from Electro. Now that may seem impressive now, but considering Electro is an occurring Spider-Man villain you might see this feat more often. Wiz: But seeing as how studies have shown that the average lightning speed is Mach 1294, this quite the feat. He was even capable of dodging lightning with his Spider Senses knocked out, but we'll get back to that later. He was even capable of avoiding bolts from Bolton, which could travel from the Earth to the Moon in 11.30 seconds. As for swinging, 60s has swung from West 14th Street to 13th in 2.33 seconds. Boomstick: Oh come on Wiz! How could that be true? Wiz: Well, there is some evidence that holds this speed. First, we need to know this speed. Given the information the police in the show give us about where Spider-Man appears, this clocks up to Mach 2.25: Supersonic speeds. Keep this in mind while we look at another episode. While chasing on of the Fly brothers and returning to the home the thief almost robbed, to find the place robbed. Spider-Man then says that even if the Fly had supersonic speeds, he couldn't have made it back. This further supports that 60s could at best swing at supersonic speeds. (Music plays) Boomstick: Despite being the victim of terrible memes, 60s is no joke. He can lift an I beam with one hand, shake off blows that can destroy walls with ease, and tank explosions large enough to destroy buildings. Wiz: And he even defeated a foe capable of destroying a galaxy...by closing his eyes. Didn't expect that did you? Boomstick: Yeah, apparently closing your eyes was the key to beating that enemy so literally any human who wants to take a nap could beat them. But 60s is far from invincible. This may sound weird, but it appears as if he's weaker to blunt force compared to any other forms of harm. Wiz: And though he was able to dodge one lightning bolt with his Spider Sense knocked out and his powers weakened, he was helpless after that. Hell, his Spider Senses were knocked out by concussion grenades, however they could have been tailored to Spider Senses as the other drugs that weakened him in this episode were. Boomstick: But do you remember that gas mask from earlier? Well, he should wear that more often because gases are his worst enemy in this series. Wiz: But you can assure that wherever there's a hang up, you'll find the Spider-Man. 60s: Robbers, killers, beware! Spider-Man is here! Supaidāman Boomstick: Supaidāman's moveset contains-''' Wiz: Hold on there, Boomstick! We've got an origin to go through. '''Boomstick: What? We literally just discussed it earlier. Wiz: Actually, Supaidāman's story is quite different in comparison to the regular origin for Spider-Man. Boomstick: Really? Huh...during this research it was kinda easy to forget. Let me just find my notes...alright we're good. Wiz: I'm shocked, Boomstick. This origin really is something else. In the galaxy of Messier 77 was Planet Spider. A planet full of people who supposedly had spider like abilities. However, one day the Iron Cross Army- Boomstick: Wait, what?! Wiz: Not THAT ''Iron Cross Army! An intergalactic organization that terrorized the galaxy and upon arriving on Planet Spider and murdered the population. This included the family of one of the inhabitants, Garia. Garia chased the Iron Cross leader, Professor Monster to Earth during the time of the' Battle of Sekigahara.'' Boomstick: However, during their battle, Garia feel underground and I quote "survived like a spider hibernating underground" for 400 years! Wiz: But for inhabitants of Planet Spider, 20 Earth years is their equivalent of 1 year. So those 400 hundred years were only 20 for Garia. Boomstick: Garia sent out a message for the longest time attempting to find someone to carry on his legacy. That's where Takuya Yamashiro comes in. A...motorcross driver?...That's a new one. Wiz: Takuya's father and sister were archaeologists, and because of Garia's physic calling, his ship, the Marveller came to Earth. Takuya's father discovered this and went out to find it. Unfortunately, Professor Monster was still alive and wanted the Marveller for himself. Meanwhile, Takuya was lead to the same place as he received Garia's call. Boomstick: The Iron Cross Army ended up killing Takuya's father along the way, and Takuya was there for his father's death. No power or responsibility here, folks. Just good ol' fansioned parent death. Wiz: Takuya was forced to escape into the very cave Garia fell in when the Iron Cross jumped him as well. Garia explained to Yamashiro who this army was. After fainting due to injuries from the Iron Cross, Garia applied the Spider-Braclet onto him, injecting the Spider-Extract, which is just Garia's blood, into Yamashiro. He had now passed a great mantle role to Takuya. He was now the Supaidāman. Supaidāman jumps down. Amazoness: '' ''Supaidāman: *poses* '' (Music plays) '''Boomstick: So right after that, Garia turned into a spider who was his mentor for like one episode only to die in Episode 2...spoilers. So, with that out of the way, let's talk about Supaidāman's moveset.' Wiz: Takuya's Spider Sense is much more versatile than what you may expect. Not only can it sense danger within 50 kilometres, but it also gives him X Ray vision, night vision, an enhanced sense of smell and hearing, and even the ability to foresee the future. And we don't just mean the Spider Sense telling him that someone is going to attack him. One episode depicts Supaidaman having constant dreams of his defeat from an enemy, which shows us that this ability surpasses the norm in terms of precognition. Boomstick: His Spider-Bracelet has multiple abilities. Of course there's his signature Spider String and Spider Net. The Bracelet can also emit ultra sonic waves with the Spider Detector, used for tracking. The Detector can also see through illusions with ease. And along with that, his Spider-Sense even allows him to see through solid objects...So, uh...think his ever uses it to see through-''' Wiz: The Spider-Bracelet is actually the source of Takuya's suit, which he can deploy anytime he wishes. '''Boomstick: So, somehow these spider people managed to design a bracelet advanced enough to hold their blood, webbing, detectors, and an entire suit, but even when Garia had one and the abilities of Spider-Man, he couldn't swing or crawl out of the cave? Wiz: That's...a good point, actually. Netherless, Supaidaman, of course has his web shooters. His most used form of web is the Spider-String. Supaidaman: '' '''Boomstick: Oh, and don't worry. He yells that just about everytime he uses it.' Wiz: Sure, the Spider String is more commonly used for web swinging, but it's also extremely handy against foes. Takuya can even send out three Spider-Strings at once. He's even used a Spider-String to hang a man. Boomstick: So much for that whole "not killing" thing heroes have, huh? Well, I won't stop him. Wiz: The Spider-Net is a net based variation of his webbing which Supaidaman primarly used to subdue large groups of enemies at a time. He also possesses the ability to open up safes. Boomstick: Ah, yes. Give the good guy a tool a bad guy would need. Perfect choice. But Takuya doesn't just rely on his gear. He's got the strength to knock out goons in one hit and even tear through the floor of a car. Wiz: Tagging him has never been easy for his fodder oponents, and for good reason. He can dodge and roll out of the way of oncoming gunfire, and his fighting style is usually very evasive, often jumping away from opponents and quicky leaping back at them to land a blow. His durability allows him to tank flames strong enough to break chains, get slammed into a cliff by a giant monster, and jump down great distances without any harm. His Spider powers even allowed him to survive poisons. One of which could kill human beings extremely fast. It's said that once Supaidaman is affected by a posion, he has the ability to gain immunity to said poison sometime in the future, and this has been shown on-screen. 90s Unlimited Tobey Maguire (Music plays) Wiz: Now we move onto the Spider-Man that first made it onto the big screen. Boomstick: And the one that screamed the most. Shows compilations of Tobey Maguire screaming throughout the Spider-Man Trilogy, but it is suddenly paused and the music is resumed. Wiz: This Spider-Man went through a lot in his first movie. He fought the terrible foe known as the Green Goblin who killed many and threatened the ones Peter loved. And he ended up being revealed as the father- Boomstick: Star Wars? Wiz: -figure to Peter and the real father of his best friend, Harry. This man was Norman Osborn. Peter: You killed those people in that balchony. Norman: The Goblin killed. I had nothing to do with it! Boomstick: Sure, Norman. Sure. Them I'm sure you won't try to hurt anybody again? Norman: Godspeed, Spider-Man. Spider-Man is seen detecting it with his Spider-Sense and dodging it, leading it to kill Goblin himself. Boomstick: Ouch! Thats gonna leave a mark. Mainly in Harry's relationship with Peter once he figured out he was Spider-Man. But for him to dodge that, he must have had a good Spider Sense. (Music plays) ''' Wiz: Indeed. Maguire's Spider Sense can sense even the littlest of things around his enviornment at a near hold and can even sense danger miles away. Unlike other Spider-Men, Tobey Maguire earned organic webbing. This means he can supply himself with unlimited webbing rather than have the worries of mechanical ones. '''Boomstick: Thats...kinda gross when you think about it. He just has these two weird ass holes on his wrists that shot out webbing. Wiz: Well, real Spiders spin webs from their thorax, so Tobey has it easy at the end of the day. Maguire can shoot strings of webs or web balls projectiles that are capable of harming and stunning his foes. Boomstick: You know what else is weird? How when we see the scene that tells us Tobey's powers, enchanced speed is on their twice. Wiz: And for some reason precognition and the Spider Sense aren't the same then...which might really just be a typo. Boomstick: Speaking of speed, Maguire can avoid bullet fire from criminals. Of course, as a gun expert, I've analyzed every gun the robbers used in this chase scene. The fastest bullet speed I found was mach 1.16618. Wiz: He doesn't just react fast. According to the novelization of Spider-Man 2, Tobey attacked at Otto Octavius so fast, that Octavius claimed to have not seen it, stating that one moment he was on the roof and at the next moment, Spider-Man plowed him like a freight train. Boomstick: Yeah, I'm sure Ock enjoyed being "plowed" by Spider-Man. Wiz: Why would he enjoy that? He's-...Please stop. Boomstick: I'll be here all week! Wiz: Now, despite some displays of feats in the films, Octavius in Spider-Man 2 is just an average human. Spider-Man went faster than what he could preceive, therefore giving this incarnation of Spider-Man FTE combat and travel speed. Boomstick: Here's another weird thing. Where did this guy make his suit? I mean, the suit has minor resistance against spinning razors! Wiz: Maguire isn't a stranger to pain. He's been sent through walls, had objects smashed into him, and even recovered from being hit by a train like nothing happened. Boomstick: But what about when he took that grenade to the face?! Didn't that thing vapourize people?! (Music plays) Wiz: Incorrect, actually. Yes, there was indeed a bomb that did vapourize its victims, but the one that Spider-Man was hit by here was not that same one. This is made clear because when the disintegration bomb was used, it never destroyed the other surroundings as the regular bombs did. Besides, this isn't even his most impressive durability feat. Boomstick: Wait, really? Wiz: That reward would go to the giant Sandman, who according to the Spider-Man 3 novelization is 500 tons of sand. While the novel has story contradictions, we'll make an acception for Sandman's form. Sandman beat down on Spider-Man in the 3rd movie. Sebastian pereira90 calculated that Sandman's blows in this scene add up to 0.0319 tons of TNT. Boomstick: And if I recall correctly as I always do... Wiz: Wait, what? You needed me to clarify the durability feats just now- Boomstick: THEN I WOULD KNOW with the help of his friend Harry, we kicked Venom through metal plating and launched him into a steel beam so hard it bent. Wiz: We've seen this Spider-Man pull off many web swings, so to assume he could perform this feat without the help of Harry is extremely fair. Plus, he can even contend with Harry, who could rip a brick wall off a building, and then destroy it with a single punch. Tobey is strong to punch a hole through a car roof, destroy a stone structure by throwing a large clock hand into it, swing kick opponents through wooden platforms, and even throw a bag of currency into Doc Ock so hard, that he recoiled back into a cement support, leaving a hole in it. Boomstick: Damn! Now that's one hell of an underhand. But if you're asking me, nothing looks or sounds nearly as cool as the time he stopped a train. Wiz: And this feat is no joke. Going by the number of train cars, which for the record were 2200-series cars, and that there are 20 passengers in each car, each of them being 67.5 kg, Maguire with the help of his webs and pure muscle stopped 151.126 tons. Adding in the speed of the train, the time it took to stop, and so on, Tobey was most likely tanking 210,134.3 newtons. Boomstick: Wait, you think with enough of those webs I could do that?! Wiz: No, Boomstick! You're not strong enough to do that. Boomstick: Can't be that hard! All I'd need is for that huge spider in your lab to bite me and then I'd be and I'd basically be just as strong. Boomstick's footsteps trail off Wiz: ...He's...not coming back with spider powers...specifically a huge migraine and deadly poisoning. "Oh well". Tobey Maguire is a real tank of a Spider-Man as well as a gifted individual. His only noticeably shortcoming was the fact that due to some emotional turmoil when strurggling to balance his life, he briefly lost his power. Or at least the movie implies that. But if anyone can make the "Hero's Choice", it would be Tobey Maguire's Spider-Man. Peter is seen walking away from Mary Jane. Tobey Maguire: Whatever life holds in store for me...I will never forget these words, "With Great Power comes Great Respnsibility." This is my gift. My curse. Who am I? I'm Spider-Man. MTV (Music plays) Wiz: Before we start off, there's a bit of an issue to cover. When this show was made, it wanted to market off the very successful Spider-Man film from Sam Raimi. This film was meant to be a sort of loose adaptation, and I mean very''' loose. So while some could see this as an alternate version of Tobey Maguire's Spider-Man, we will not include the feats from Sam Raimi's first Spider-Man film. ''Boomstick is heard running in screaming. Wiz: Boomstick, what did you do?! Boomstick: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME IT WAS EXTREMELY VENOMOUS?! Wiz: I warned you plenty of times! Music cuts. There's a TV cut out effect. The screen cuts back 2 seconds later. Boomstick: Soooo...can we just pretend that didn't happen? Wiz: Let's...just get back to the analysis... Music resumes. Boomstick: Aside from looking like a PlayStation 2 model, this Spider-Man doesn't have many differences to a lot of different Spider-Men. Wiz: I mean, he did fight a variety of different villains. One of those villains is Shikata, a swordswoman who was looking for a challenge. Boomstick: And she sure deserved a challenge. She's constantly shown to cut and deflect bullets from a CZ-75 9mm gun and MTV was clearly shown very capable of keeping up with her. You can tell by the weird "bullet time" thingies that take place when they fight. Wiz: MTV has also dodged these bullets plenty of times, and those speeds come out to 400 m/s...which would be mach 1.16618. Boomstick: Sounds familiar... Wiz: Similar to the Spider-Man this show was loosely based off of, MTV's Spider Sense appears to slow down time as well. With his agility, MTV tricked 3 people into punching each other. Boomstick: Shikata also did some studying on MTV which saves us some trouble. According to her, he effortlessly lifted 10,000 pounds single-handedly...which is bullshit since he clearly used TWO HANDS! Wiz: Actually, Boomstick, the term single-handedly means to accomplish something without the aid of another person. Boomstick: Ah, whatever. For the record, 10,000 pounds is 5 US tons. Wiz: MTV's greatest striking strength feat comes from when he was angered and bloodlusted, he punched Kraven the Hunter into a door so hard it broke off it's hinges. Boomstick: What made him so angry? Wiz: Well, some mutant twins mind controlled him and made him believe that Kraven had killed Mary Jane. Ironically enough, the dream sequence gives MTV a better striking strength feat, but as it is a dream, we cannot take it into consideration. Boomstick: Well, thats boring. I expected a bit more than that. At least it was kinda cool when he almost hung Kraven with his webs. Kraven is seen with a web around his neck MTV: Goodbye, Kraven! Boomstick: But then he had to randomly stop it and realize he was fooled. Wiz: Oh, you want MTV brutalizing someone? Boomstick: Hell yeah! Wiz: Then here's MTV being tricked into pushing his girlfriend off of a building. Boomstick: Oh...well...at least there's...Yeah theres no upsides to that. Wiz: Actually, there may be one. We get a speed feat out of this. Boomstick: We do? Wiz: Upon stalking down the twins for revenge, the sister crashed an oil tanker into a high voltage box, causing an explosion. MTV briefly outruns the explosion, and remember, the key word is briefly. Boomstick: Shoutouts to Spinosaurus75DinosaurFan who calculated that the speed this Spider-Man had to be moving for this feat would come out to 363 m/s at the least. Wiz: Of course, this is most likely in short bursts. However, Peter was too grief stricken to go on as Spider-Man, and gave up his super hero duties. Boomstick: Wait that's it? That's how the show ends? Wiz: Yes. Boomstick: That's...depressing. Oh well! Back to the feats! So while this Spider-Man can shake of a stab to the shoulder, survive being blasted through small stone balcony, and get up after being electrocuted by 240 volts, he still makes mistakes. For example, the Kingpin's men tricked him into stealing something for them by posing as the FBI. Upon realizing he was tricked he called the real FBI, but forgot he was calling from his phone and while he was Peter Parker he ended up geting tangled into trouble. Wiz: Actually, he's gotten into trouble as Peter Parker more than once. He was also fooled by the psychic twins a good number of times. On the more positive end, he has predicted his enemy's moves, which lead to MTV's victory. And then he has what's...kind of a weakness? How do I state this- Boomstick: His boner can negate his powers. Spider-Man is seen talking to Indy through a phone. MTV: I have one more class this afternoon. Can we meet after that? Indy (In a suggestive voice): I'll make it so worth your while. MTV is seen lightly giving a nervous chuckle and slips down the building he's sticking to a bit. MTV: Count me in. Boomstick: And thats the same chick he accidentally pushed off a building. Guess you can always screw someone over rather than just screw them. Wiz: Why do I even allow you to co-host? Peter is seen pacing around in his apartment. MTV: It should be no big. Why not just go to a party like everyone else? Just cuz' I'm not like everyone else? The view flips around to show he has been pacing on his apartment ceiling. Spectacular Ultimate Andrew Garfield (Music plays) Wiz: Imagine being a small child. You and your parents are just playing a game of hide and seek. Boomstick: Already hating this situation. Also, unrealistic, but whatever I'll roll with it. Wiz: The last thing you'd expect is for them to take you to your aunt and uncle's home and leave you there to grow up. Boomstick: And the next last thing you'd expect is for your parents to be hunted down because they refused to do evil sciency stuff like Wiz does at 1:30 AM. Wiz: Wait, what? Boomstick: But if you were Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man, you would know that being an intelligent, good-looking, and fairly popular is hard... Music stops Boomstick: Nah, I'm just kidding he has no reason to feel bad. Minus the missing parents thing. Wiz: One day, Andrew Garfield went home and found out his father had worked at Oscorp and became curious. He explored the Oscrop building and upon sneaking into a room, found tons of spiders. Boomstick: And at that point, anyone I know would run out of there, but come on. You know what's gonna happen. Wiz: This was sort of meant to happen. Apparently, when finding a tape of his father, it was revealed that the radioactive spiders were made by his father. Boomstick: Y'know the more I think about it, why would his dad choose spiders out of all creatures? I mean, they're terrifying as hell. Wiz: With just the slighest of movements, Andrew Garfield would have to be careful since even those could destroy alarm clocks, shoot a great amount of toothpaste out of it's tube, and break off a tap nozzle. Boomstick: So skipping ahead, Andrew knew that the man who murdered his Uncle had a star tattoo on his wrist. He decided to track him down. So let's talk about his webs. Wiz: Oscorp claims that this webbing that Garfield adopted here is 10 times stronger than steel. Boomstick: Consider that fact when he LITERALLY POKED TWO HOLES through his webbing! Wiz: Not only that, but he can fire his webs in three directions at once. He's also magnetized his web shooters to avoid electricity from firing them. Boomstick: And on that topic, his suit is rubberized, which helped against Electro, also known as the reason he had to magentize his web shooters. Wiz: Andrew Garfield already did a pretty good job against Electro before that however. With his skills, speed, and one working web shooter, he was able to stop a car from hitting a man and stop too people from being electrocuted. Note down that while doing this, he was against the speed of lightning. Boomstick: Basically, it's a pretty fast feat considering those people would have been shocked if it weren't for Andrew's speed. And this in that film he avoided lightning plenty of times. Wiz: Garfield's strength is not exactly boasted upon compared to the other Spider-Men, but that does not in any way mean it's non existent. We have able to bring an bus that had the weight of 18.5 tons to a halt and hold back the Lizard. Boomstick: Pretty impressive when you consider the Lizard breaks through walls pretty easily. Wiz: He was even strong enough to open a pressurized water pipe and is tough enough to tank an explosion up close and get blasted by lightning with enough force to put a large dent in a police car. Boomstick: So, yeah. Its safe to say Andrew has his fair share of strength. Wiz: Let's not forget that he's no slouch when it comes to his intellect as well. He's built a custom remote controller that locks his door, perfected his father's webbing formula, constructed his web shooters, and found a formula for regenerating limbs. On the downside though, that did lead to Curtis Connors becoming the Lizard. Wiz: If only he wasn't so damn cocky. Wiz: We aren't exatterating here. If he had been more serious, he could have saved basically everybody who was killed in the opening chase scene of the second movie. He's made some close calls when there shouldn't have been any to begin with. Boomstick: But at the end of the day, that's just what it takes to hold the mantle of the Amazing Spider-Man...Seriously though, what was he thinking in that chase? Andrew Garfield: This life is not an easy one; I've made enemies, powerful enemies, put those I love in danger...but, when your past is a mystery, how do you ever stop looking for the truth? Tom Holland DISCLAIMER: SPOILERS FOR ''THE MCU ''WILL BE IN THIS BIO. (Music plays) ''' Wiz: In 2008, the Iron Avenger, Tony Stark, better known as Iron Man, made it on the big screen, starting the MCU, also known as the Marvel Cinematic Universe. This universe has branched to feature tons of Marvel characters. Like Captain America, Thor, and Daredevil. But there was a very iconic and important hero there needed to include... '''Boomstick: DOG WELDER! Wiz: What? No, Boomstick that's not even Marvel. Boomstick: One can dream, Wiz. One can dream. Wiz: Well, as you should know, the hero this universe needed was Spider-Man and oddly enough, he was in Iron Man 2 as a small child in an Iron Man mask. The real Iron Man is seen landing behind the young Peter and he blasts a robot killing it. Iron Man: Nice work, kid. Boomstick: Now, while Tony Stark was great at leading a team of super heroes and making kickass robots, he was terrible at calmly negotiating with his friend, Steve Rogers. You know, the frozen guy from World War 2 who was injected with super steroids to beat up Nazis? You might know him as Captain America. Wiz: The debates were over the Sokovia Accords. The United Nations wanted control over the heroes because of the damage they would cause when protecting the public and this act would assure that would happen. Boomstick: Steve hated that idea, so two sides were formed. One to sign the agreement and the other to object to it. So who's the most suitable person for this kind of struggle? A 15 year old boy of course! Wiz: This teenager was none other than Peter Parker. A teenager gifted in intelligence and also gifted with super powers. Now, the details over his origin are still cloudy. What we do know is that he was still bitten by a spider. Ned: How much did it hurt? Peter: Spider's dead, Ned. Boomstick: But why would he pick Tom to fight for his side? (Music plays) ' Wiz: Well, he may be young, but Holland's feats impressed Tony. He was capable of catching a 3000 pound car moving at 40 miles an hour, his webbing was made by Tom alone, and apparently his powers allow him to see through lenses that regular humans have trouble looking through. Small detail, but not useless. Stiil, his current costume wasn't very fit for battle, so Tony built him a new one. '''Boomstick: And this thing was hell of a lot better than those pajamas he wore earlier. ' Wiz: Inside the suit is an installed communcation device, a parachute, a heater, an HUD that allows him to detect his surroundings, and X-Ray Vision which allows him to look through objects. Combined with Karen, Tom is capable of identifying the strongest points of structures. '''Boomstick: Karen? Wiz: It's what he named the A.I. that came with his suit. Whatever Tom sees through this suit's lenses, Karen records in order for Tony to make sure he stays in check. Boomstick: That doesn't put Tony on a watch list or anything. Wiz: However, it also allows Karen to go back on previous footage to identify individuals from databases available to her. And with Enhanced Reconnaissance Mode he can survey conversations from a further distance. Boomstick: But the real magic is in his webbing options. According to Karen there's 576 different web-shooter combinations! The Web Grenade can fire a web line or net from the spot it's attached to, the Taser Web sends a current of electricity through the webbing, Splitter Web fires web lines in multiple directions, Rapid Fire is just smaller fast forms webs used as projectiles, the Ricohet Web is a web ball that...ricohets, and the famous Spider Tracers appear yet again. Wiz: You still need to explain what they can do again. Boomstick: *Groans* They can track whatever they're placed onto to. Wiz: Holland also holds refiles for his Web Shooters on his utility belt. The Web Wings are a pair of wings that spread from his armpits and extend to his upper arms and thighs allowing him to glide when he feels the need to. And that Spider on his chest isn't just for show. It's a drone that can keep an eye on whatever Tom wants it too and can also use its own Reconnaissance Mode. Boomstick: And then there's Instant Kill Mode! Wiz: Which we'll get to later. You'll see why. Holland has proved to be quite strong. Capable of hurting Giant Man, caught a jet bridge, and lifted a great amount of rubble off himself. Boomstick: Spinosaurs once again calculated this feat. The weight of all the rubble that fell onto Holland must have weighed approximately 207.78 tons! Still less than Wiz's mother! Wiz: Hey! '''Boomstick: ''Chuckles. Wiz: One thing we'd like to clear up about the ferry scene: Peter did NOT ''hold together the ferry. As you can see he barely stopped it from moving apart, and Iron Man needed to save him. Although, there still an impressive durability feat there since Peter wasn't instantly ripped in two by 3200 tons. If anything, his webbing should be recognized for this feat since the webbing earlier was shortly capable of kepping the ship together. Anyhow, let's get back to the suits. '''Boomstick: Remember the Tech Suit? Well, when he needed to take down Quentin Beck AKA Mysterio, he didn't have that suit on him. So, he just made a better one.' Wiz: Introducing the Bosco Suit. With improved webbing, a new parachute, new web wings, and 25% more current taser webs, the Bosco Suit is certainly impressive in combination with his agility and Spider-Sense. Boomstick: Oh, yeah. His Spider Sense was kind of...weird, earlier in the MCU, but he got so good with it that not only can he detect danger, but he can overcome Mysterio's illusions while dodging bullets from drones, which he then proceeded to destroy! Wiz: Keep in mind, Mysterio's illusions were so effective, that they even fooled the Skrull, who were not only covering for Nick Fury at the time, but are a species that are infamous for their ability to shapeshift and replicate whoever they take the form of with great accuracy. And since Fury is, as Beck puts it, a very dangerous and paranoid individual, these illusions are quite impressive. Boomstick: Speaking of the Spider-Sense, Tom is a pretty clear bullet timer. Wiz: Tom is also capable of keeping up in speed with foes who have reacted to bullets. Even without those comparisons, Tom has dodged bullets himself, whether it be from Falcon or EDITH drones, and his Aunt May even states he can dodge bullets. Boomstick: We should probably bring up EDITH. Wiz: Right. When Tony Stark died, he left behind a pair of glasses for Tom known as EDITH. EDITH is capable of analyzing information about others, hacking and tamper with phones, and summon multiple Stark Drones to his aid. Better yet, no one can use EDITH unless Tom allows them too, so they simply can't just be used by anybody. Yes, it's true that this version of Spider-Man did not use EDITH as much as Mysterio did, but considering the plot in Far From Home, you can't exactly blame him. Besides, he knows how to use the hacking abilities and drones, and given that he finally accepted the responsbility of wielding EDITH, it's safe enough to allow Tom access to this in the battle. Boomstick: But is it possible that this Spider-Man ''himself ''can get even stronger? Hell yeah! That's where his trump card comes in: The Iron Spider. Wiz: Designed by Tony Stark for when Tom was ready to be an Avenger, the Iron Spider is a much stronger version of the Tech Suit given prior. Boomstick: Not only does it come with some fancy Nanotech helpful for keeping the suit together, but it has all of the quirks of the previous suit along with four robotic arms that come from the back. And it's bulletproof! Wiz: Considering Tony's early suits could produce up to 8 gigajoules and that Tony designed to suit for when Tom became an Avenger, we can assume that the Iron Spider is at, if not above this level seeing as how Tony's suits at this point would be greater than his old ones. Boomstick: Annnnnnnnnnnnd? Wiz: And yes. Unlike the Tech or Bosco Suit, the Iron Spider has actually shown off Instant Kill mode, which allows the four robotoic arms from his back to attack rapidly with what we can only assume are blows intended to kill an opponent, and they did just that to Thanos' army. Boomstick: Damn! Tony's really packing some heat in this kid! It's too bad he still falls short of experience. Sighs ''Yeah, despite having about 2 years and 6 months worth of time as Spider-Man, he's still got some trouble handling the whole hero thing. He's pretty smart, but he can also be kinda gullible. I mean, Mysterio tricked him into handing over EDITH. You remember. The glasses that let you ''DRONE STRIKE somebody?! But if we're being fair, he got a lot less guillible by the end of Far From Home. Wiz: In fact, most of the abilities we listed for the Tech Suit were things Tom wasn't supposed to have until he was ready by Stark's standards. He only got them because he got his friend, Ned to help him hack the suit. Tony was understandably pissed about that. Tony: Okay, it's not working out. I'm gonna need the suit back. Tom: For how long? Tony: Forever. This moment freeze frames. Boomstick: Surprise, surprise: It didn't. Wiz: But for age, Tom Holland has still accomplished a lot. He singlehandedly defeated Bucky and Falcon, saved the Guardians of the Galaxy from fast meteors-- Boomstick: And when he went to space it blew him away!...Is it safe to joke about that? Wiz: Ehhhhh...you're probably safe. Boomstick: Hey, at least his Spider-Sense saw it coming! Tom Holland: When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen...they happen because of you. Fight! Conclusion Special Thanks (so far) -Friendlysociopath -StarMario89 -Spinosaurus75DinosaurFan -Mr. Bambu -LeTotalMemer2 -Panddu1 -Scythe watch Category:Lonkitt Category:What-If? 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